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Character-Test.SolvingConflicts.comGet "back-to-the-basics" with your Marriage, Dating, Family, Friends, and/or Employment Relationships.Solving Conflicts LLC Presents: |
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Pure Gold: "Engaging, wise, and chock full of ideas ~ Paul Coleman, Psy. D., author of "How to Say It for Couples: Communicating with Tenderness, Openness, and Honesty" |
Can We Dance? “After reading this book, I have a new-found appreciation for the importance of really exploring myself to know what character qualities I need my mate to possess.” “I love the combination of information, reflection, and interaction with the arts. This approach is present, reflective and emotionally, spiritually provocative.” “Can We Dance? helped me to examine my beliefs, clarify my motivations, and analyze every step from friendship to a serious relationship. It is full of great tools that are both fun and immediately useful.” |
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Try to recall something that you know that you did wrong recently. It may be difficult, but try it! I'm sure you can think of something. Now try to remember what it was that you were thinking and feeling as you began to speak or act a certain way. There is a very good chance that at least for the moment you thought you were "in the right"...and not "in the wrong". There is a moment in time where we, at least briefly, feel like we are "in the right". It is because we instinctively believe that we are using a genuine trait of some kind. Perhaps we had a momentary lapse of good judgment, and we failed to see that we were using a counterfeit trait, and we failed to consider the consequences of our actions. In the middle of a lapse in good judgment, using a counterfeit trait often will feel just like the use of a genuine trait. For most of us, it is not until we have calmed
down a bit that we begin to realize we spoke or acted poorly. Often,
we have no clue why we did what we did or said what we said. We only
know we did something that was wrong. Sometimes we are sorry; sometimes
we are too proud to admit it. However, we rarely know which of the
genuine qualities we misused as a counterfeit. It is impossible to
improve what we do not know is in need of improvement. Solving Conflicts will help you get to the root of the problem, and you will be able to see it crystal clear. Love and respect for others are at the heart of all genuine character traits. It is hard to imagine a world that would be totally free of conflict. In our world, conflicts occur every day. In some homes, marriage conflicts occur every day. In all the many ways that we relate to other people, our first choice is for there to be no conflict. Some choose to handle their marriage conflicts by avoiding the issues completely. Yet their silence can make the conflict worse for the other person. The conflict then remains unsolved. Others handle their
marriage conflicts in the other extreme. Their conflicts may then grow into
explosive conflicts. You may fall between these two extremes. Yet,
it is certain that you are doing something that adds to the conflicts
that you face. In this process, you will learn what your genuine
and counterfeit strengths are. You may be shocked to learn you have
genuine character strengths you never knew you had. The more you know
about your own self, the better prepared you will be to make better
choices. You may be surprised to find out your true character potential... especially when you use your free will to exercise your character strengths in a positive way rather than in a negative way. Even in the face of adversity, we still have a free will to make responsible and respectable choices. No matter how difficult it may seem, we still have a free will. In this process, you will learn what others' genuine and counterfeit strengths are. You may also be shocked to learn someone has genuine character strengths you never knew he/she had. The more you learn about others, the better prepared you will be to help them make better choices. You may also be surprised to find out the true character potential of others that you never knew before. Uncover the true diamond sparkle in yourself
and in others!
Truly, some people have lived through bad situations. People in their lives have given them poor messages about their self-worth. Whether that accounts for your life experience or not, it is like a breath of fresh air to discover character strengths you never knew you had. It can be like discovering a new roadmap for your life. Solving
Conflicts not only tells where you have been, where
you are right now, but also helps you get where you want to go in
the future in terms of your own character and how you choose to relate to other people. |